Kid Temper Tantrum Palatka Crisis
Dad: So we're at Palatka, Florida to see the Annual Strawberry Festival of North Florida. Leland: But why is it at Palatka? Carlos: Well fun fact: The founder, James Coulton, was born and raised in Palatka. Yeagar: And this is kinda Deep Southish... Leland: Well it's not my fault those a**holes from Georgia and Alabama spread their beliefs here! Dad: Leland! Just be respectful, okay? Leland: Okay. At the festival... Leland: This isn't even a festival! This is just one big strawberry store! Carlos: Look! They got a Macintosh 5000 series collection on sale! Leland: OH MY GOSH!!! THEY'RE THICKER THAN YEAGAR!!! Yeagar: Hey! Dad: Look! They got hentai! Leland, Carlos, and Yeagar: NO. Dad: Aw come on, I was hoping to see ti- Leland: LOOK!!! IT'S A LAMBO!!! AND IT'S ON SALE!!! Carlos: It also has a Miami in the 1980s aesthetic as well! Dad: We're not getting that! Leland: Yes we are! Leland goes up to the clerk. He is wearing a Confederate flag hat with a shirt saying "I <3 DEEP SOUTH" Clerk: What can I do for ya? Leland: How much does this car cost? Clerk: About $200,000. Leland: WHAT?!?! Dad: See? It's too expensive! Clerk: Hey, I tell you this. I got a VHS copy of Titanic. If you watch the movie, then you can have this car for free! Leland: Really? Clerk: Yes! Here, put it in the VCR and press play. Leland: Okay! Leland puts the VHS in the VCR and is about to hit play, but is stopped by Lee Dad: Leland, this could be a horrible film! Leland: I'm gonna get that Lambo! I'll be like Jake Paul! Dad: Oh no! Your not being that ghetto boy! Carlos: Just let him watch it! Clerk: You tell that Bay Stater! Dad: Fine! Watch it! Leland: Thanks! Leland presses play. The screen flashes colors, then stop at footage of the Titanic sinking Yeagar: What is this? Clerk: Keep watching! The scene cuts to a woman drowning in the water. She screams for help. A man comes to rescue her, but as he is swimming her to a life boat, a shark starts to circle around the two Leland: HOLY FRICK!!! KICK HIS A**!!! The shark bites the man's leg off. He screams in agony as the shark mauls his other leg Dad: JUST STOP THIS!!! IT IS GETTING NASTY!!! Clerk: No! Leland: I'll do anything for that car! The shark then eats the remains of the two, then swims directly to the viewer. The screen goes static Leland: Thank goodness it's over! Suddenly, the shark jumps out of the screen and eats the clerk Dad: HOLY S***!!! Carlos: IT'S GONNA KILL US ALL!!! Yeagar: RUN!!! The crowd screams as the shark chases them Leland: Let's not follow them! We'll take the car! Dad: How will we fit? Leland: Me, Carlos, and Yeagar will go in. Dad, you'll go on top. Dad: Okay. The get in their position and drive Carlos: Plus, where did you find the keys? Leland: It was on the ground. Dad: Guys! The shark is chasing us! The shark jumps to the car and holds on to the back Dad: LELAND!!! DO SOMETHING!!! Leland: I got this! Yeagar and Carlos: In 3, 2, 1... Leland: الله أكبر!!! (blows up shark) Dad: EW!!! I GOT SHARK BLOOD ALL OVER ME!!! Leland: Oh well! The 4 drive out of the festival and into the road Dad: What about the van? Leland: I'll call a tow truck to get it back to Utah. Carlos: Still, how in the hell did that shark get out of the tape and into the real world? Yeagar: I have no idea. Maybe it was haunted? Leland: Our imagination? Dad: That was way too real to be an imagination! Carlos: Well let's just stop at a McDonald's and rest there! Leland: Okay. Just watch out for that guy with the Uzi! Yeagar: Oh, how funny of you to mock our McDonald's incident! Category:Fanfic Category:Kid Temper Tantrum Category:Trip Disasters